Chocolate VS. Fruit

So, yesterday, which was Saturday, I decided to get into a 'dieting' frame of mind. I was so close to achieving this goal, purchasing fruit and a yoghurt for lunch and other such slimming habits before I realised it was Easter weekend and that can only mean one thing...

Annual Chocolate Sunday Celebration

Already, any dreams of being a desirable weight by October have flown away with the promise of chocolate and creme eggs on this very sacred day for 'fatsos' like me (although I am not at the stage where I pray to a statue of a high deity made of chocolate. I wouldn't even consider myself a chocoholic, I just eat anything that tastes good. Hence, I think it's about high time I forced a love of celery on myself (even though celery has to be the most tasteless thing ever, apart from cucumber).

Then there's the fruit dilemma. I love fruit. Apples, pears, oranges, pineyapples, grapes (motherfucking grapes) and melon. They all taste great and I'm pretty sure I could live on it. But there's of course the age old problem that it is too damn expensive. For example, a bunch of grapes is £2.50. I could buy a shitload of scran for that amount of money and be eternally happy for all of an afternoon. If the government was really behind getting people healthier, they'd swap the prices around. It might not make chocoholics happy BUT it would save a lot of lives. And saving lives is a very noble thing (or so I have heard).

Oh look, a meme...

For now though, it seems I am destined to remain a fat bastard until such a time exists that I can either control my midnight munching, blow up the kitchen, sew my mouth or go to the gym on  Monday, the gym on Monday being the most unlikely scenario.

Also, I have a new laptop! It only took me six months to replace the one I broke but it is like reuniting with a very old, valuable friend. It took me only five minutes to blog this post as opposed to the normal half an hour it takes to type the same blog on the old PC. Loving life!