Friday 22 March 2013

Internet Manners and Etiquette: The Social Schisms of Getting it Wrong...

Welcome to the Internet, prepare for excommunication!

I'm going to get straight to the point. The internet is a judgemental place. And the worst part is you don't even need to know the person to feel like the lowest of the low.

Of course, not everyone feels this way and that's a good thing. But there are people out there who overthink their activities on the internet. And ashamedly, I used to be one of them. I say 'used' loosely because I'm still confronted with these issues even now. I've just learned to get a grip and not take things so personally. But that can be hard.

It can be said that every comment you post, every status you like, every message you send can be over-analysed to the point of insanity. I know there are some people who genuinely don't care and I praise these people. However, in a world where we are constantly craving the acceptance of our peers whilst maintaining a sense of individuality, I know that people will confront these issues in this mind frame. And it's unhealthy. I was inspired to write this blog because I have been confronted with many of these issues before and one recently, really got me thinking.

A few days ago, a girl added me on Facebook. I did not know her personally and I have never spoken to her in my life but she is also on exchange in Montreal and because she comes from the British Isles, I decided to add her. I thought perhaps she maybe wanted to open a dialogue with me which I was happy to provide (I'm a nice person like that). Now, usually, I do not add or accept people who I do not know and because this girl did not contact me in anyway, I decided to delete her today. Yet, when I went to delete her, I found she had already deleted me. 

And yet, I'm the one who feels like an idiot. Am I oversensitive or over-thinking it? Perhaps. And I will gladly admit that I am a sensitive person and an over-thinker. But there are questions that have been raised. Why did she add me? Why did she delete me? Was she being nosey? Was she unimpressed just by looking at my profile? All these questions have been brought since this silly interaction and its genuinely ridiculous. However, the worst thing was feeling like an idiot and it actually made me feel slightly angry. Then I got over it and decided to channel it into a blog.

This made me think about other things that make people feel ostracised from the internet. Here are a few examples.

  • Bad Grammar: I'm not massively critical of people who spell the occasional word wrong or get the occasional grammar rule mixed up. It happens to the best of us (like me). However, there are some people on the internet who go out of their way to persecute these people (The Dreaded Grammar Nazis). 
  • Adding Friends: You know when Michael McIntyre talks about the handshake/hug thing? When one person is going to greet a person with a handshake and the other is going to greet them with a hug and they meet in the middle and its horrendous? Well, how do you know when you're ready to add someone as a friend on Facebook? And why is it so nerve-wracking waiting for the acceptance? AND WHY DO YOU BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF WHEN THEY ACCEPT?
  • Friend Number: I know this affects a lot of people (and if it doesn't, I envy you). But then again, that's what it boils down to. Why do we measure the success of our peer's social lives on the number of Facebook Friends? Why are we so jealous if someone has more friends than us? Does it mean they have more friends than us? Are they better loved than us? Do they have better social lives than us?
  • Birthdays on Facebook: When it's someone's birthday, if they didn't say 'Happy Birthday' to me, I don't say 'Happy Birthday' to them. How do I find this out? I look at our friendship page. I think this is a pretty common law in the world of Facebook.
  • Instagram Hashtags: If you have twenty hashtags, you are seen as an attention-seeking weirdo. And you're automatically jealous of people who have sixty likes with one hashtag.
  • Arguments: Expect to lose your argument if you spell something wrong. Even if your argument is invincible. Also, expect to lose your right to an opinion if it conflicts someone elses and a whole day lost to arguing.
There are loads more I could list. I mean, basically every action on the internet has a consequence. However, the point I'm trying to get at is that why are there are so many unspoken norms about internet etiquette? Why do we need to think about every action? 

Nowadays, I don't care. However, when I was younger, I did and I think it's horrible thing to feel ostracised at such a young age, especially from a place where everyone is supposed to be 'welcome'. The internet can be a cruel place and we need to stop the judgement and the measuring of our self worth by statistics.

Yeah, this blog was pretty pathetic, I know.

No comments:

Post a Comment