'Beksinski'

I have a dilemma. I can't decide if I'm becoming an old fart or not.

I was browsing 9Gag the other night (as I do every single other night) and came across a post about an artist called Beksinski. Beksinski was a Polish artist and his work, for want of a better word, is creepy. Really creepy. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm old for finding another artist I appreciate but I'm also young because I found out about him on 9Gag. Make any sense?

People who know me, know that I don't really like horror movies. I won't go and see one in the cinema because I am all appreciative of a good night sleep without worrying that a fire-breathing, purple with pink polka-dots demon will grab my ankle that is hanging off the side of the bed and drag me straight to Hell. No-one needs that sort of thought-process before going to sleep. However, no matter how much I insist, I find the whole genre very interesting and I find these paintings very interesting. Like my previous rant about 'real art', these painting represent something: people's worst nightmares. And they're very scary, they're like photos a tourist who recently had an all-inclusive week in Hell took. And some of them match up with how I imagine 'Hell' to look like. But these paintings 'mean' something and just by looking at them, you can deduce the meaning (or find your own).

Bekinski often painted what he saw in his dreams, which makes me feel pretty sorry for the guy if this is all you're seeing in your dreams. And he lived quite the tragic life as well too.

So, Afremov and Bekinski. My two favourite artists. My ONLY two favourite artists. The only problem with Bekinski's works is that in my head, when I have the perfect family living in a perfect house, I wouldn't feel comfortable with my children seeing all these scary paintings hanging up in the living room (Original works, of course). Maybe they could be installed in the house situated on my private island. Oh well, a girl can dream...

http://www.beksinski.pl/

I think this one scares me the most. Although, add feathers and he'd look like  Aku-Aku from Crash Bandicoot.

None of these are particularly cheery but even orange, a warm colour can't make this painting look any less depressing.

This is what Hell looks like.

So yeah, that was a depressing blog. Here's a cute picture of a puppy to cheer you up!

'Art' and Afremov.

One of my main aims in life is to become a cultured gent (although without the moustache preferably. In fact, scratch that, I would carry one off very well). However, one of the stumbling blocks I have encountered on the road to 'snobbery' is a real aversion to Modern 'Art', mainly because I think most of it is a contrived pile of pish. I group most of the pieces of modern 'art' I have had the misfortune to encounter into two categories.

Group One: THIS IS NOT ART.

To get a true sense of what I insinuate with this group, all you need to do is look up either Tracey Emin (whose face has to win 'The Most Terrifying Face of All Time' award) or anything that has been nominated for the Turner Prize. I mean, how is a bed, art? Does it mean I could show my bed off and be awarded with an exhibition? DOES IT?!

Tracey Emin's bed.

Apparently, the bed is to symbolize Emin's intimacy with the world in regards to her private life. To me, all it shows is she's an untidy, lazy bastard. She also used worn pants in this piece. I rest my case.

Group Two: A FIVE YEAR OLD COULD PAINT THIS.

This group annoys me more than Tracey Emin. The painting below was crafted by Mark Rothko and is simply titled 'Orange and Yellow'. Now, I'm not being funny but I genuinely could recreate this. In fact, a drawing of a stick man has more artistic integrity than this. But the suckerpunch to this absurd piece of 'art' (if it can be called that)? It sold for $86 million very recently...

You just can't rid the world of stupidity it seems. And you know what, my cat could paint this, that is how much I think of it. A true waste of canvas.

However, this blog was not just a rant (Yes, you may wipe your brow in relief now). It seems that I may have overcome the stumbling block previously mentioned as I have recently discovered the work of Leonid Afremov and I am in love. His paintings are true art. They're pretty, they're colourful, they tell a story and they invoke emotions. Isn't this what art should be like? Not like the crown colour chart above?

No caption required.

Perhaps he's not as successful as these other artists because his paintings portray real life or perhaps they could be described as 'pedestrian' but alas, that is the world most of us live in and most of us are pedestrians, peddling our way through normality. Simply put, they are beautiful and if galleries were filled with this sort of thing, rather than Tracey Emin's disgustingly stained bed sheets, I'm sure they would attract a bigger audience.

The only thing that worries me about this though is that having a favourite artist might be the harbinger of impending maturity or adulthood. I sincerely hope not anyway.