You must be barking!

Today, the family and myself decided to take a trip to Sainsbury's in Kingsgate for a wee swatch at the new store. It's absolutely massive and sort of scary. Having lived in East Kilbride for seventeen years now, it's strange not to see the familiar brick-styled building...

However, I digress. The thing I want to discuss today involves an advertisement that we saw at the roundabout near Sainsbury's, on a billboard. Travelling at speeds of 30 m.p.h, it was slightly difficult to get a good quality photo but I did try my best.

Now, the photo is incredibly fuzzy, so I do apologise but luckily, I managed to decipher most of it and make it onto the website. All I can say is that what I've read so far is nothing short of ridiculous.

Maythorne Cottage is the name of a new, 'luxurious' dog kennel situated between East Kilbride and Strathaven. And when they say 'luxurious', they ain't half kidding. Here is a little excerpt which will hopefully convey my meaning.

"Every dog will have its own Dog Room which will have a half double glazed domestic upvc door. The flooring will be soft vinyl, with 65% of this being under floor heating, leaving the remainder of the area as cool spots for the dog's comfort.

Each Dog Room will have a wall mounted television (just like home) as well as speakers that will carry soft music for daytime comfort.

The rooms will be tastefully decorated - if your dog would be more settled with its own home comforts, feel free to bring along its own bedding and toys etc.

There will also be a second door leading into an Open Room where the dog can sit and look out over views of the beautiful countryside. This Open Room will have double-glazed French doors, which can be opened in good weather and closed during cold spells. The dogs will be secured within their own space at all times even when the French doors are open.

In addition to all of the above, the Open Room leads to your dog's own private garden, which is laid to lawn and chips."

I mean, THIS IS JUST INSANE. Absolutely insane and I have some points I would like to raise. Most dogs don't even have the mental capacity to follow simple instructions, let alone understand a full episode of Eastenders (although, really, who could?). And honestly, would a dog actively choose to sit and admire the 'beautiful view'? Especially considering that you have to tell them to sit half the time? I think I'll believe it if I see it. It's just all a bit bizarre really. In fact, this isn't a kennel, this is a proper dog's hotel, a holiday for dogs. I must admit, I've stayed in worst rooms than the ones described on the website.

However, as much as I am ridiculing it, the owners do sound like they genuinely want the dogs that stay there to be comfortable and happy with their arrangements and they've definitely thought about everything. I know it myself with Biffy, the woman who owns the cattery he stays in is one of nicest people you'll ever meet and a total animal lover, which makes us feel happier.

So, with all that being said, does anyone want to book a room? Sounds like a lovely place to stay!

Here's the link to read at your own leisure.

http://maythornecottage.co.uk/