Scottish Independence: How does one decide the fate of a nation?

Today, First Minister Alex Salmond (or maybe 'not so affectionately' known as 'Big Eck') announced in parliament the date for the Scottish referendum on Independence. In 547 days, on Thursday 18th September 2014, the good citizens of our great nation will come together and decide the very future of Scotland with a single 'Yes' or 'No' question. I think it's a huge responsibility that weighs heavily on our shoulders and with the  knowledge that the whole world will be desperately awaiting the result, it really has the potential to change the face of the British Isles as we know it.

As I have mentioned before, I am a patriotic bastard (I'm actually the worst person you could ever meet). Therefore, my knee-jerk reaction is to vote a loud and resounding 'No'. Perhaps it's due to my half English, half-Scottish heritage, perhaps its due to fear, I don't know. But then, I remembered that I don't really have enough information to formulate an opinion yet. Therefore, maybe I should sheath my opinion until after I have vanquished my ignorance.

Personally, I don't think there is enough information being provided to the general public about the referendum. And it's not a simple decision either. The independence of Scotland would have such an impact on the entire running of our country, with the far-reaching consequences of our actions being felt by our descendants, the next generation of Scots. However, the lack of information is from both sides. You have one side telling you 'Independence is Bad' but not really going into detail why and vice versa with the Scottish government.

I'm concerned with the lack of transparency thus far. And I think a lot of it is to do with a complete lack of trust in our governments, both British and Scottish. The expenses fiasco, the lies, the corruption; it all feeds the public's contempt for the government. We all feel like we're not being given the full story, all of the time which is very counter-productive when attempting to make a decision like this. In short, we just don't know who is telling the truth or not.

Which is why, now that the date has been announced, I hope that this opens the floodgates to some serious debate on the subject. I don't wish to live in ignorance and I'm sure most of the Scottish population don't want to either. A series of healthy, CLEAN debates are desperately needed, which will help us all to see the benefits of becoming an independent Scotland and the disadvantages, coupled with some concrete facts which will hopefully give us a clear picture of whether Scotland is ready to become an independent nation or whether she is to remain within the UK. Then and only then, will we be able to make well-educated and rounded decisions about the fate of our nation.

However, until such a day comes where I see a strong argument for Scottish independence, my vote currently is a 'No'. And also, a strong point for the argument against independence is that the Union Jack would just look weird.

Anyway, Watch This Space!

What do Pete Burns and Ray Winstone have in common? Nothing...

Okay, I'm not going to lie to you, I can attribute many things to my idiocy. But I don't have the time nor the energy to list them and I know, you, my readers, don't have the time to read them either.

However, last night, I seemed to surpass all known boundaries of stupidity and I am certainly paying for it today. So, allow me to set the scene...

I am sitting in the lounge, watching 'Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World' on my laptop. Now, usually when I watch movies, I am known to be quite fidgety, whether it's clicking my toes or shaking my knees (this is beginning to sound like a bizarre dance routine, it's not). However, the source of my entertainment that night appeared to be the cap from my mini hairspray. I was having great fun, biting round the edges but this wasn't enough. No, I thought it would be a great idea to suck it to my face and see how long I could do it for. (Insert awkward elipsis here).

I can only say that it was the biggest mistake of my life. I went into the bathroom about half an hour later and I got the most enormous shock of my life when I saw Pete Burns staring back at me in the mirror. It was horrific. I panicked for a little bit before resigning to myself that when I woke up in the morning, my lips would be back to their normal, lippy-like self and all evidential nonsense from the night before would be forever erased.

I was wrong.

My lips are still a purple-ly, brown colour so I look like a Zombie. The swelling has gone down but has been replaced with a purple circle where the edge of cap had been sucked to my face. The top half resembles a paedo-y pencil moustache and the bottom line makes my bottom lip look like a black man's. I have to admit, applying a circle of concealer around my lips today has to be one of the weirdest cover-up jobs I've ever had to do...

I can't really justify my actions. I have no idea why I did it but certainly, I wouldn't have done it had I known the consequences. So I guess the moral of the story is, don't suck a cap to your face, even if it's fun.

That's some pout...

Anyway, moving swiftly on...

Today, Mark and me went to see 'The Sweeney', the remake of the classic 70's cop show starring Ray Winstone and Ben Drew (aka, Plan B). Now, before I launch into my tirade, I feel I need to point out that I do actually like Ray Winstone. He's a brilliant actor and has a really distinct voice with adds to his characters. However, if someone had asked me to write a list of 'Things I Never Want To See', directly behind 'The Human Centipede' (Sorry, bad pun was bad) would be seeing Ray Winstone kicking off his underwear and giving a remarkably younger lady a right good shagging...

It's just not right. Grunting away whilst he romantically pumps this lady in a public bathroom (fifteen minutes into the film I may add). Then, to top it all off, he does it again, after ripping off this lady's dress and jumping on her. BOAK. I did not pay to see this. I did not want to see this. It does not add to the film. Seriously, all of the film's good points were washed away in two single torrid moments. Eurgh. Seriously, if I have to witness another Ray Winstone sex scene in my life again, it will be too soon. In fact, I'd rather drill my eyeballs out...

The worst part? The actress who he was with is Hayley Atwell, the actress who played Peggy Carter, who played the love interest in 'Captain America'. Now, imagine, locking lips with Chris Evans, one of the hottest men alive and then being told your next role involves filming sexy time with Ray Winstone. I do believe that this is a major step down.

Why?

A Public Apology To The New Dear Leader...

Seven years on from winning the bid and we have finally arrived at the London 2012 Olympic Games. The time has really flown by, hasn't it? Having said that, even though I am normally quite a patriotic person, both Scottish and British,  I can't say the impending games has me all fluttered and excited for some medal action. In fact, it's quite the contrary, as I can really take it or leave it. Not that I am of the camp that it is a 'massive waste of money blah blah blah', I do genuinely think it will be good for us in the long run. I just think it's because I don't have a sporting bone in my body that is more the reason for my non-plussedness.

However, the news that some, to put it politely, idiot portrayed the South Korean flag with the North Korean woman's football team is, quite frankly, embarrassing. David Cameron has described it as an honest mistake but really? Anyone with half a brain (or who has seen Team America: World Police) will know that there is at least some political tension between the two nations, let alone a bloody war. Therefore, you should at least check that you've got the right flag. When I heard, I wanted to face plank the table so much it was unreal. Honestly, I cannot apologise to our new dear leader, Kim Jong-Un, enough. Hopefully, he'll accept our pitiful apologies and won't point a nuclear bomb in our faces...

Following on with the Olympics theme, another thing I would like to discuss is the disgusting sculpture in the middle of the Olympic park in London. For those who haven't seen it, feast your eyes on this structural obscenity.

YUCK.

It actually makes me cry, thinking about the amount of money that was poured into something that looks like it's still under construction. How anyone could compare that to such icons like the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty seriously needs a lobotomy (or has already had one). It's ugly. Actually, it's fugly. A fugly slut. It really does makes my blood boil. I mean, for all the resources we, as a nation, poured into the Olympics, could we have not made a better sculpture? It doesn't even fit in with the surroundings. I just hope that one day, some brave, intelligent soul in power will look up at it, discover how awful it is and decide to burn it to the ground, like a deformed wickerman. I will happily fill the role as deranged worshipper and dance around the flames in ecstasy as it will be an occasion to celebrate.

I wish I could find more words to describe my feelings for this thing but I feel that this meme does the job perfectly.

Self-Explanatory really!

As much as I like to complain and discuss the stupidity of some of the individuals involved in the Olympics, I would like to state that I hope Team GB do us proud. I'm sure we'll win something and I think the games will be good for us, with the benefits being reaped for many generations to come. However, if I was to point out a suggestion, I still feel David Tennant should light the flame like he did in Doctor Who. Then Doctor Who won't just be a programme but will be a factual representation of the universe (and that would be seriously cool).

I think they should have designed the torches the same way too but I'm not too fussed.

Chocolate VS. Fruit

So, yesterday, which was Saturday, I decided to get into a 'dieting' frame of mind. I was so close to achieving this goal, purchasing fruit and a yoghurt for lunch and other such slimming habits before I realised it was Easter weekend and that can only mean one thing...

Annual Chocolate Sunday Celebration

Already, any dreams of being a desirable weight by October have flown away with the promise of chocolate and creme eggs on this very sacred day for 'fatsos' like me (although I am not at the stage where I pray to a statue of a high deity made of chocolate. I wouldn't even consider myself a chocoholic, I just eat anything that tastes good. Hence, I think it's about high time I forced a love of celery on myself (even though celery has to be the most tasteless thing ever, apart from cucumber).

Then there's the fruit dilemma. I love fruit. Apples, pears, oranges, pineyapples, grapes (motherfucking grapes) and melon. They all taste great and I'm pretty sure I could live on it. But there's of course the age old problem that it is too damn expensive. For example, a bunch of grapes is £2.50. I could buy a shitload of scran for that amount of money and be eternally happy for all of an afternoon. If the government was really behind getting people healthier, they'd swap the prices around. It might not make chocoholics happy BUT it would save a lot of lives. And saving lives is a very noble thing (or so I have heard).

Oh look, a meme...

For now though, it seems I am destined to remain a fat bastard until such a time exists that I can either control my midnight munching, blow up the kitchen, sew my mouth or go to the gym on  Monday, the gym on Monday being the most unlikely scenario.

Also, I have a new laptop! It only took me six months to replace the one I broke but it is like reuniting with a very old, valuable friend. It took me only five minutes to blog this post as opposed to the normal half an hour it takes to type the same blog on the old PC. Loving life!