The Journey to Asianhood

It's 2.48am in the morning and I've been lying in my bed for the past hour doing nothing but watch K-Pop videos. Then, I was hit with a realisation not too dissimilar from getting figuratively slapped in the face with a wet fish. Not only has it been about an age since I last wrote a blog but also, a huge change in my life has occurred that should be given the chance to take centre stage and bow with pride. Therefore, I want my readers to be happy that I am dedicated enough to blog when I could be getting precious sleep (the real reason is that I will forget in the morning so don't feel guilty).

I'll try not beat around the bush (although from the title, I'm sure you can guess where I'm heading with this).When I came on exchange, I was expecting to embrace the Quebecoise culture (not the Canadian culture sadly, Quebec is virtually its own country). However, instead of eating snails or actively pursuing a career of permanently wearing berets, I have seized the opportunity to reject my Scottish roots and become something completely different.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time I came out from behind the Oriental screen (I tried googling Japanese closet and it never really worked, my analogies are getting worse).

I am Asian.

Okay, I'm not Asian but I want to be and since I have had the pleasure of making very good friends with people from Japan, South Korea, Thailand, Taiwan and China (I'm so multi-cultural now), I have taken the best parts of each culture and melded them together to become a 'Super-Mega Happy Asian'. I admit, it sounds bizarre but bare with me (and since when have I ever been normal).

Here below I will list the various areas of 'Asianhood' that I have adopted.

Photos

It seems I've been Asian for quite sometime because I am infamous for taking photos. I am the bane of my friend's lives because no matter where we go, my trusty camera is always ready, whether it is to catch a questionable facial expression or taking tourist photos in Bangor (It was my first time in Wales, give me a break).

Chopsticks

When I first sat around the table with my Asian friends for dinner and picked up my chopsticks and used them with the grace of a geisha (albeit a clumsy geisha), there were some gasps of surprise, shock that I could even hold them properly, let alone use them. Not one to shy away from basking in glory, I felt a sense of pride but ashamedly, I didn't tell them that not only can most people use them but my own sister has been using them since she was like nine. However, whilst my skills in 'chopstickery' are not particularly noteworthy, what is noteworthy is that I am now the proud owner of my own pair of bright pink chopsticks which I received for my 21st birthday. It was probably one of the best presents I've ever received. Ah, the simple things in life, who'd have known one could get so excited by eating utensils?

My very own pair of Chopsticks, I will be whipping these out at Yo Sushi!

Food

Obviously, a natural deviation from chopsticks would be the food you eat with them. I have always said this and I'll say it again. I could happily live on Asian food for the rest of my life. I can assure you that I all eat here is Teriyaki Chicken. It's 'phuking' awesome. Additionally, I've had Taiwanese cuisine, copious amounts of sushi made by my wonderful Japanese flatmate Nana, Thai noodles and Chinese dumplings. I swear, I will be the size of a sumo wrestler but I will be full of happiness. God, it's so good.

Samples from the Tai-Thai dinner

'So Sad'

The origins of 'So Sad' are blurry. I believe Nana said it first and it's something that has caught like WILDFIRE. It's hard to explain but I think that describing a situation as 'so sad' is a very Asian thing to say (I don't know how to describe it, I'm just natural Asian now). I say 'So sad' all the time. ALL THE TIME. Now, I even say it to people back home. And if the situation is not sad, it's 'so cute'. Even my language is changing.

Film and Television

Okay, I was already in the foray of Japanese films with my fandom concerning Deathnote and Battle Royale. However, after watching Deathnote with Nana, I found it a better experience. And, I watched a South Korean programme called 'Running Man' with Ka Ki which seemed to be like a gameshow. I had no idea what was going on if I'm honest but it was funny.

Karaoke

I consider doing Karaoke with Asians a rite of passage towards Asianhood. I mean, how many people can say they've done karaoke with Taiwanese, South Korean, Chinese and Japanese people? Additionally, karaoke is completely different experience with Asians (and sober). For one, they're actually all pretty good at it but they also take it serious, pouring raw emotion into their singing. There's no laughing either, it's a nice environment. I have to admit that I was surprised by the quality of songs that were sang. Even Keane's 'Somewhere Only We Know' was chosen. Unfortunately, however, I have a complete inability to choose a song that is not cheesy in some way. I chose 'Mamma Mia' and sang a duet with Rocio of 'Summer Nights'... Yeah.

KARAOKE.

Music

I've left the best till last. I have always had an ecletic music taste, it's true and with my love of Eurovision being proof that music does not need to be in my own language to enjoy it, it was only natural that I would develop a love for K-Pop. However, there is one band that I nigh-obsessed with and that band is called 'Super Junior'. It's a pop group made up of about 13 boys and their songs are so good.

Not only have I spent the last few evenings attempting to learn all of their names but I have also identified my favourites, Siwon and Khuhyun. Nom is all that is left to be said.

My love began during the aforementioned karaoke session when some bright and wonderful spark chose a song called 'Sorry Sorry'. I got home and googled it and immediately fell in love. I downloaded it off iTunes and repeated it on my iPod ever since. Then, last week, I discovered another song called 'Mr Simple' which has reached number 21 on my Top 25 Most Played list already. I'm not sure whether I am to feel ashamed or proud. And tonight, I have found another song that beats all of them, A-Cha. Already downloaded. The thing about Super Junior is that the majority of them are hot, they are insanely good at dancing and the songs are completely catchy. They could be about the taste of miso soup for all I know but they're still epic songs. Another honourable K-Pop mention would be Girl Generation.

YES.

'Sorry Sorry' Dance

This obsession with K-Pop has culminated in a phenomenon known as the 'Sorry Sorry' dance. Due to prolonged exposure of the 'Sorry Sorry' video, I became automatically synchronised with the dance at the chorus. It came to a head during the gala where we performed the dance to any song that matched the beat. Good times.

So yeah, I think I have put forward a compelling (and long) argument towards becoming an accepted denizen of 'Asianhood'. Having been told by many of my friends that I am more Asian than them, I am extremely confident that my application will be accepted.

Long live Asia (and Super Junior).

I will leave with one of their videos so you can all fall in love with them, just like I have. Additionally, please be sure to look up 'Sorry Sorry' and 'Mr Simple'. And if you want more, check out 'Gee' by Girls Generation. I feel like a K-Pop master.

What has happened to me?

OhmyGodSuperExplosionsandUnicornsandRainbowswithPies.

What I am about to account has never happened to me before but it is kind of awesome. And I felt the need to tell someone (or people).

Currently, in addition to the mountain of group work and assignments I have to write for HEC, Strathclyde decided to be a nice guy and give me a literature review to complete for tomorrow as well (Such a shite guy). The lowest point was opening an example of a good review and discovering it was over 2,500 words (it may be a paltry word count to you but to me, it still induces winces and tears). So this is not going to be just a simple all-night effort then? Well, I was wrong, in more ways than one.

Firstly, we got to choose the subject we did the literature review about. I cannot emphasise enough how much better it is to be able to write about something you actually have a degree of interest in rather than writing about some bullshit theory that I don't really understand anyway. Additionally, whilst we had to get the subject of our review evaluated, the lecturer who evaluated mine not only consented but said it was an 'interesting subject'. Woohoo, nothing like some faith from the lecturer to spur you on!

So, my subject? I don't want to go into too much detail but basically it's about the impact of violent video games on violent behaviour in children and young adults and how to market video games in this type of fear-mongering environment. And I've discovered it's a hugely interesting subject. So interesting in fact that I have been reading articles for the past five hours and yet, put no words on a page. This never happens to me, ever. I never feel the need to really get into the grit of a subject. I prefer to skim on the surface (usually taking quotations from the abstract. Don't tut at me, we've all done it).

For example, the last three hours have been spent reading about the tragic Columbine School Shootings, which despite being horrific and appalling in equal measure, is also a great source of interest, not only because one of the root causes is believed to be the influence of violent video games in the perpetrators lives but also, just because in general, it is interesting. Specifically, I've been reading the reddit posts from a survivor of Columbine and whilst it has little mention of video games (ironically enough, he now works in the video games industry) it has just been too damn interesting reading his posts and viewpoints. So much so that it is now 8pm and I was supposed to be finished by now. I'm barely halfway.

Therefore, when I saw a post from my lecturer that we could ask for extensions, I have rushed an email away. Not because I have been a lazy bastard and have only started it the night before (I started a few days ago actually) but because I actually want to my literature review justice. Not only because it could prove pretty darn useful for my dissertation next year (if I'm allowed to do one for marketing, developing story, may talk about it later) but because I'm having fun.

Having fun whilst writing an assignment? What even am I?

Sugar Shack: Another Québécoise Experience...

On Friday night, Nana, Aziza, Jungyoon (who convieniently lives next door) and I went to a 'Cabane á Sucre' or a 'Sugar Shack', about an hour outside of Montréal. Believe me, calling it a sugar shack is an understatement but more of that later.

In simple terms, a sugar shack is a front for producers of maple syrup. The 'harvesting' time for maple syrup, typically tends to be between March and April and so, whilst there is still plenty of maple syrup to go around, these producers tend to open sugar shacks during this period so both Montréalers and foreign visitors such as yours truly can sample the delectable delights of a traditional and sweet Quebec meal.

We all got into the coach and made our way there. You have no idea how cool it is to be going places on a coach again. It's like I've been transported back in time to school, where school trips used to induce excitement and happiness. I love having that feeling again. Anyway, we arrived at the sugar shack just as the sun was setting and it was pretty much exactly as I had imagined it. A shack. There was nothing particularly special about it and inside was pretty much your standard log cabin decor (or what I imagine to be a pretty standard log cabin, not that I am an expert in the interior design of log cabins, that might be Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen's field of expertise more than mine).

Yes, the icicles are real!

We were shown into a room where there were large tables set out and we all settled down to enjoy this meal. The process is simply sit down and a waitress will bring you your food (and you can ask for as many helpings as you want). As we had all starved ourselves for this promised meal of majestic quality (and quantity), the bread sitting on the table looked too inviting and we all practically wolfed it down in mere seconds. Alexandre, one of the organisers, told us not to eat too much bread because we would need room for later. Obviously, Alexandre had underestimated the power of my stomach because I can not describe the level of hunger I was feeling.

The first course came out, which was a nice and gentle Pea soup to get the ball rolling. However, after one sip, something was not quite right about it. I couldn't really put my finger on it but continued to eat it anyway (refer back to previous paragraph about starvation for more clarification). It was only when I hit the bottom of the bowl that I realised that maple syrup had been added to the recipe. Now, I have a sweet tooth (obviously) but c'mon, really? After the soup was finished (and I did finish it, I am not quitter), there was a small amount of time between the soup being cleared away and the main course, we decided to have a peek at some of the condiments on offer. Now, usually, I'm not a huge fan of pickles but as the ravenous part of my personality came out to play, I decided to try one. I am not even lying when I say that the pickles were pickled in maple syrup. However, there was a lovely chutney that deserves a mention because even though that had maple syrup in it, it was good. Pickles in maple syrup however, are not acceptable.

Finally, after what had seemed like an age, the main meal came out. It was almost like an English breakfast with scrambled eggs, smoked sausage, ham, baked beans and potatoes. Except, of course, everything has maple syrup in it. I'm not even lying, if you were unaware of the fact you were diabetic, you would have definitely known after this meal. It was crazy. Even the baked beans were in maple syrup... And then pudding. Need I talk about pudding? Cake with maple syrup or Maple syrup tart? My heart was racing faster than a fat man in a cake shop (ironic really). Probably the craziest part of the meal though was when Nana discovered the odd but rather tasty combination of Pork scratchings drizzled with maple syrup (yeah, we were pretty much all having heart attacks at this point).

English breakfast or Quebec Tradition? Only one way to find out...

Once the plates were all cleared away, the table was strewn like a battlefield. Everywhere I turned, I could see defeat in all of my friend's eyes. Food had beaten us all once again. And then, some soul announced that they were serving maple syrup taffy outside on ice. Well, didn't we all just stand up and make our way outside? Yes, yes we did and I don't regret a thing.

We made our way around to the back of the cabin where there were troughs filled with snow. Then this guy poured boiled maple syrup over the snow where it cooled just enough so that it became a sort of sticky, pliable consistency, which when rolled with a lolly pop stick, could be consumed easily. Long story short, it tasted awesome. And the guy kept coming round with this jug whilst we were being educated on how maple syrup was made (I can't lie, I wasn't really concentrating). I think the worst part was that I heard someone lamenting how they had had two whilst I was popping my fourth into my mouth (no regrets).

Showing how it's done!

After a small tour of the workshop and a group photo, it was decided that we would all get back onto the bus and make our way back to Montréal.

There's two things about this experience I would like to point out. One, it is probably the only time and opportunity I will have to ever visit a sugar shack as it is very ingrained in the Quebec culture and not necessarily obvious to outsiders. Plus the fact I hope I never come back here in March or April. And two, I did not fall over at all (which is what usually happens during trips with HEChange). Hooray!

The Home Run

Right Now: 'The Vortex' - Hadouken!

"Day 83 in the big Montreal House". These very words terrify me. I can't even believe it's possible that those many days have gone by since I first set foot in Montreal. And it's been a period of time where there has been a lot of highs and of course, with any new experience, a few lows too.

I cannot lie, exchange life hasn't always a bed of roses. There were the infestations of mice and recently, ants that I've had to contend with, which doubled with my other flatmates 'rocky' relationship with our landlady (she loves me, she gave me a Chinese pear) has not helped. Then, there's of course the weather, which really is nothing short of abysmal, especially when about 12 inches of snow decides to dump all over Montreal at the end of March. It's rather unacceptable. And of course, the most obvious factor is the constant longing to see my best friends and family again. I think, you could travel the entire world, experience and see the most wonderful things the globe has to offer and yet, I don't think there is anywhere quite like home (even East Kilbride, even East Kilbride). It's a deep-rooted connection that can't be broken, you can hear it calling you back and there comes a time when you just can't fight it anymore.

However, and this is a big 'However'. I am now getting to the stage where I'm so settled into a routine here that it almost feels like home. I realised it today when I walked 'home' from university and I didn't have to think about which way to go or which path to take. I just did it automatically and when the experience has entered your sub conscience, it starts to hit you that this place maybe means slightly more to you than you first thought. I enjoy being able to wake up when I want to, choosing when to eat, what to eat, when to shop, where to go out for dinner... The freedom of choice is literally limitless and that for me, is something which is priceless. I have also had great opportunities to travel, the highlight being meeting my family in New York City. It was a dream to go there and usually, when you people say 'OhmyGosh, New York is the best place ever' you wonder, can it really be that good? Well, I can tell you honestly it is. Boston was also a very beautiful place and somewhere I really think I would enjoy living permanently. Finally and the most important thing is, I have met some truly lovely people here who I hope I can be friends with for life. At first, I found it difficult because I missed a lot of fresher's week due to illness and other factors. I admit, I felt out of the loop for a long time. But gradually, you build on it and you meet new people. I mean, if I had to put it in simple terms, sixteen people came out for my birthday and I've known them around two and a half months. Last year, about fourteen people came out for my birthday and I've known them for years. It's nice to know that wherever I go in Asia, I will always have a friend there and I hope these people they will always have a friend in Scotland too.

So, now it's the home run. I have 53 days left to make this exchange the best experience of my life so far. And with events such as Toronto and Niagara Falls and Spring coming, I don't think it will difficult! 

NB: As some of you may have seen, I recently became a blogger for Fireball Liqueur Official UK. My  first blog hasn't been published yet but I'm really excited! I'm not sure how this is going to affect the frequency of this blog (which you know, is pretty much non-existant anyway) but I really want to try keeping them both going. So, I would really appreciate it if I could see the same level of support for my Fireball blog as I do for this one (plus you might actually win goodies and you'll be getting a guaranteed blog from me twice a month).

Thanks dear readers!

My Montréal Bucket List

I really like bucket lists. The reason being that they always give you something to look forward to or something to try. Basically, my bucket list serves the purpose of keeping me grounded but above all, makes life just a little bit more interesting.

I have also become self-conscious that instead of blogging about the cool things I do in Montréal, all I do is consistently moan about life and all the little things that upset the natural order of things. Therefore, in a bid  to sound less depressing like Kurt Cobain and more happy like Ellen DeGeneres, with the kind assistance of my flatmates, I have made the below bucket list of things to do in Montréal before I leave in May. 

1. St Joseph's Oratory
2. The Notre Dame Basilica
3. Igloofest
4. The Snow Festival
5. La Banquise (For REAL Poutine)
6. Real Montréal - Style Bagels
7. Attend a Hockey Match
8. Visit Beaudry Metro Station (Cool Architecture)
9. Visit Old Port during the day
10. Visit the Grand Prix Circuit
11. Pilgrimage to the Bioware Studios (for my inner gamer geek)
12. Schwartz (Smoked Meat Restaurant)
13. Olympic Park and Tower
14. Biodome
15. Museum Visits
16. Beavertails Pastries
17. Juliet + Chocolat
18. High Lights Festival

You can take the girl out of Sainsbury's but you can't take Sainsbury's out of the girl...

Sunday arrived and already, my cousin, his flatmate and me had already settled into a familial routine. We'd all get up around half ten, have a spot of breakfast, watch a bit of TV or go on the internet, shower, make a sandwich and then go out for about 1pm. Today, after a slight debate between the shops or the Old Port, we decided to go to the shopping hub of Montreal, St. Catherine's. St. Catherine's has its fair share of normal malls of course but it is the underground city that is really worth seeing. We grabbed a bus which took us downtown and then walked (or slid in my case) a wee bit until we got to a snowman-guarded entrance and descended into a mall.

Now, I guess it isn't very impressive because it just looks and feels like a mall but when you realise that you're underground, that's when the impressiveness hits you. The best thing is, it's pretty much never-ending because as one mall ends, another one begins. It genuinely goes on for miles and there are so many shops, I wouldn't like to guess how many there were but I would hazard a guess and say 'a lot' (which is a correct description of quantity, thank you very much). 

We wandered a fair bit and eventually came across Montreal's main train station, which looked slightly like central. Here, you can catch a train to most of the major cities in the vicinity, including Toronto, Quebec City and New York. Definitely something to bear in mind methinks. Beyond the train station, we hit the 1000 centre, which had the prettiest Christmas decorations I think I've ever seen. Inside the centre, there was an Ice Rink. My cousin, his flatmate (who is called Benoit, much easier to use) and me all looked at each other and collectively chickened out. At least it runs in the family...

Eventually, we made it back and hit IGA again, albeit a different branch. We bought some stuff for Caesar Salad and then went through the Self Scan. Now, maybe I was being over zealous but I thought that by leaving the country, I could escape the bane of my life. But alas, life doesn't work like that because as it turns out, IGA have installed the exact same Self Scan machines Sainsbury's use. And then, when my cousin pointed out that every time he scanned an item, it didn't beep, I knew exactly how to fix it. Sad as fuck.

We then got a metro and bus back to the apartment and settled down to a nice Caesar Salad, which was pretty awesome. We then watched NCIS, Criminal Minds etc. I thought that because I was in 'North America', these would be brand new episodes but it turns out Canada likes to show repeats as well. Sounds about right. We also ate cake during NCIS, a cake called Elizabeth cake which is a sort of Coconut concoction. 

To be honest, if everyday was like this, life wouldn't be so bad. Shame I don't have disposable income to spend in the shops anymore. Sigh, paying bills sucks!

Bleak.

Let me set the scene. I decided I was going to go for a nice walk today. A nice, virtual walk on Google maps from HEC (the university) to my apartment on Avenue de Kent (which is said to be about a ten-minute walk but by my standards, that's probably twenty-minutes).

I was quite enjoying my walk, there was a lot of greenery and nice houses. Eventually, after a number of clicks, I arrived at Avenue de Kent.

Looks quite green!

And then, I looked back to see how far I had 'walked'.

Not bad, not bad.

And then I turned onto my street.

Sadface.

Thanks Google Maps, thanks. I despise Winter.

Shit just got montREAL.

So, five weeks today, I've somehow got to leave the family that I have spent everyday of the last twenty years with at Glasgow Airport, make it to Heathrow, the busiest airport on the globe and then fly to Montreal, Canada, a country I've never been to before in my life and on top of all that somehow,  mature and learn how to become a responsible adult during a seven hour flight.

Forgive my scepticism but even I have no faith in myself.

The thing, is when people ask for my advice, I will gladly give it and generally, I'm quite good at it. I like to help people. But I have a confession to make. It's all bullshit. I make all this stuff up. I don't have a clue and now, I'm paying for it, like a metaphorical Peter who cried wolf (or something). And this is not about believing in yourself, oh no, this is about knowing your limitations. And I have many.

When I was in school and people would say, 'Oh I'd love to go on exchange, that is my thing', I was the person who was convinced she would never want to do that sort of thing because that ain't my thing. Now look where I am. Why did I choose this course?

Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful for this amazing opportunity, I appreciate what it will do for me and I know that there's a 95% chance I'll get there and never want to leave but I'm a home bird. I like my creature comforts and I like familiarity. I'm not an adventurer or an explorer. Unfortunately, the one trait I inherited from my mother was the capacity to think of the worst case scenario of everything and stress. Lots of stress. MAHOOSIVE AMOUNTS OF STRESS. Am I allowed to worry about these things or am I just being silly? I can't tell.

However, I will digress from the anxiety attacks for a moment to share with you all, possibly the most absurd and disturbing thing I've seen in a while.

www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk

The first impressions formulating in your mind when you read that link are probably correct. This guy makes plaster casts of woman's vaginas to celebrate diversity and prove to women that all vaginas are different and you shouldn't be ashamed of your own. Personally, I think you've got too much time on your hands if you are worried about that sort of thing.

On the whole, I don't really mind the actual idea. I guess it could empower a very small minority but seriously, SELLING THE STUFF? I do not want to walk into a house that has casts of vagina just hanging on the wall, minding its own business. And I'm not a prude, I just think it's really strange. Especially, the gold cast one... 

Also, I wish to point out I don't actively seek these things out, I found it in Closer or something (Problem page FTW).