Let Me Occupy Your Mind... Again.

I've been sitting here for the past five minutes, looking at this blank, virtual canvas and deliberating with myself. 'Should I start my blog again?'; 'Do I have anything interesting to say anymore?'; 'Will I even manage to successfully keep it going for longer than four days?'. The answer to all these questions and many others in my life at the moment is that I simply do not know.

 My life has become unnervingly boring and predictable. I haven't been out of the country in almost two years. I can't procrastinate anymore because I have absolutely nothing to do anyway. I actually miss university because at least I was on some sort of road to somewhere (although the 'somewhere' I had in mind seems light years away). I'm nearly twenty-three and I still share a room with my sister. I could go on and on but the list is endless. All I'm saying, is that when I was leaving school, thinking where will I be, five years from now, this wasn't what I had in mind. I seem to be in a perpetual state of limbo, not yet a fully-grown adult yet no longer a child either. Unfortunately, when it comes down to it, the only person that can get me out of this rut is the lazy, tired and unmotivated bear that is myself.

Now, I'm not going to start this 'New Year, New Me' codswallop (even though the only people I see saying 'New Year, New Me' are the people moaning about people saying 'New Year, New Me) because let's face it, it never works. However, I do need to make my life more fulfilling so in honour of this month of 'change', I have a list of things that I want to achieve this year

1. Read at least four books per month: I used to be a big reader - why did this change?! So many books to read, so little years left on this planet to read them all.

2. See Mark at least once a month: Yes, we have discussed the fact that we don't feel the need to see each other all of the time. However, once every four months is a tad unacceptable.

3. Do something 'Cultural' once a month: Whether it's an orchestra or the theatre, I don't care. I am lucky enough to live on the doorstep of one of the most cultural cities in the world and I do not take full advantage of this. Luckily, Katie has already made sure I meet January's target by purchasing me tickets to go and see 'Wicked' in Edinburgh for Christmas (I cried and I am not ashamed to admit that). I have never seen a ballet or an opera either so they're definitely the top of my list.

4. Reconnect with some old friends: On the whole, I don't think I'm too bad at this but there are some people I have literally had no communication with over the past year. I would really like to see some of these people again.. Life is funny sometimes but I'm a firm believer in 'It's never too late'.

5. Start a Diary: This is a risky one. I highly doubt I will have enough patience to continue a diary. However, I would like one which I could carry everywhere and record things such as ideas, funny moments, my wacky dreams or pieces of writing. Which brings me to my next point...

6. Write More: I have recently come to the realisation that I'm pretty mediocre at Business. Therefore, the only way I'm going to make my millions is by writing a bestseller. I do have it in myself to do it. However, at the moment, all of my ideas are swimming around in the soup I call a brain.

7. Get into the Christmas Spirit: I don't mean right this minute but 'holy moly', I could have made Scrooge look like one of Santa's elves last year. Sainsbury's crushed my Christmas spirit last year, I admit it. I was defeated. However, I vow that it won't this time. Pantos, mince pies, Christmas movie marathons - I don't care what it takes but I will become so 'Christmassy', I will literally become an all-singing and dancing Christmas pudding (I actually hope not seeing as Christmas Pudding is the worst foodstuff in the history of cuisine).

8. Leave the Country: If it involves getting a fake passport, changing my name to Miguel and sitting in the back of a Tesco's lorry on the way to Calais then so be it. I will go abroad this year. The dream would be Interrailling. We'll see what my bank balance says on that one (probably 'Computer says No').

I think that to an average person, these things are pretty easy to achieve. Then again, I'm not your average Joe (or Jane). If the start to this year has taught me anything, life is too short to sit on your arse and wish for things to happen. I think I will need to start to follow some sort of Motivation Quotations blog on Tumblr to make this happen but if that's what it takes, then so be it!

This year is for you, Nanny.

The Journey to Asianhood

It's 2.48am in the morning and I've been lying in my bed for the past hour doing nothing but watch K-Pop videos. Then, I was hit with a realisation not too dissimilar from getting figuratively slapped in the face with a wet fish. Not only has it been about an age since I last wrote a blog but also, a huge change in my life has occurred that should be given the chance to take centre stage and bow with pride. Therefore, I want my readers to be happy that I am dedicated enough to blog when I could be getting precious sleep (the real reason is that I will forget in the morning so don't feel guilty).

I'll try not beat around the bush (although from the title, I'm sure you can guess where I'm heading with this).When I came on exchange, I was expecting to embrace the Quebecoise culture (not the Canadian culture sadly, Quebec is virtually its own country). However, instead of eating snails or actively pursuing a career of permanently wearing berets, I have seized the opportunity to reject my Scottish roots and become something completely different.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time I came out from behind the Oriental screen (I tried googling Japanese closet and it never really worked, my analogies are getting worse).

I am Asian.

Okay, I'm not Asian but I want to be and since I have had the pleasure of making very good friends with people from Japan, South Korea, Thailand, Taiwan and China (I'm so multi-cultural now), I have taken the best parts of each culture and melded them together to become a 'Super-Mega Happy Asian'. I admit, it sounds bizarre but bare with me (and since when have I ever been normal).

Here below I will list the various areas of 'Asianhood' that I have adopted.

Photos

It seems I've been Asian for quite sometime because I am infamous for taking photos. I am the bane of my friend's lives because no matter where we go, my trusty camera is always ready, whether it is to catch a questionable facial expression or taking tourist photos in Bangor (It was my first time in Wales, give me a break).

Chopsticks

When I first sat around the table with my Asian friends for dinner and picked up my chopsticks and used them with the grace of a geisha (albeit a clumsy geisha), there were some gasps of surprise, shock that I could even hold them properly, let alone use them. Not one to shy away from basking in glory, I felt a sense of pride but ashamedly, I didn't tell them that not only can most people use them but my own sister has been using them since she was like nine. However, whilst my skills in 'chopstickery' are not particularly noteworthy, what is noteworthy is that I am now the proud owner of my own pair of bright pink chopsticks which I received for my 21st birthday. It was probably one of the best presents I've ever received. Ah, the simple things in life, who'd have known one could get so excited by eating utensils?

My very own pair of Chopsticks, I will be whipping these out at Yo Sushi!

Food

Obviously, a natural deviation from chopsticks would be the food you eat with them. I have always said this and I'll say it again. I could happily live on Asian food for the rest of my life. I can assure you that I all eat here is Teriyaki Chicken. It's 'phuking' awesome. Additionally, I've had Taiwanese cuisine, copious amounts of sushi made by my wonderful Japanese flatmate Nana, Thai noodles and Chinese dumplings. I swear, I will be the size of a sumo wrestler but I will be full of happiness. God, it's so good.

Samples from the Tai-Thai dinner

'So Sad'

The origins of 'So Sad' are blurry. I believe Nana said it first and it's something that has caught like WILDFIRE. It's hard to explain but I think that describing a situation as 'so sad' is a very Asian thing to say (I don't know how to describe it, I'm just natural Asian now). I say 'So sad' all the time. ALL THE TIME. Now, I even say it to people back home. And if the situation is not sad, it's 'so cute'. Even my language is changing.

Film and Television

Okay, I was already in the foray of Japanese films with my fandom concerning Deathnote and Battle Royale. However, after watching Deathnote with Nana, I found it a better experience. And, I watched a South Korean programme called 'Running Man' with Ka Ki which seemed to be like a gameshow. I had no idea what was going on if I'm honest but it was funny.

Karaoke

I consider doing Karaoke with Asians a rite of passage towards Asianhood. I mean, how many people can say they've done karaoke with Taiwanese, South Korean, Chinese and Japanese people? Additionally, karaoke is completely different experience with Asians (and sober). For one, they're actually all pretty good at it but they also take it serious, pouring raw emotion into their singing. There's no laughing either, it's a nice environment. I have to admit that I was surprised by the quality of songs that were sang. Even Keane's 'Somewhere Only We Know' was chosen. Unfortunately, however, I have a complete inability to choose a song that is not cheesy in some way. I chose 'Mamma Mia' and sang a duet with Rocio of 'Summer Nights'... Yeah.

KARAOKE.

Music

I've left the best till last. I have always had an ecletic music taste, it's true and with my love of Eurovision being proof that music does not need to be in my own language to enjoy it, it was only natural that I would develop a love for K-Pop. However, there is one band that I nigh-obsessed with and that band is called 'Super Junior'. It's a pop group made up of about 13 boys and their songs are so good.

Not only have I spent the last few evenings attempting to learn all of their names but I have also identified my favourites, Siwon and Khuhyun. Nom is all that is left to be said.

My love began during the aforementioned karaoke session when some bright and wonderful spark chose a song called 'Sorry Sorry'. I got home and googled it and immediately fell in love. I downloaded it off iTunes and repeated it on my iPod ever since. Then, last week, I discovered another song called 'Mr Simple' which has reached number 21 on my Top 25 Most Played list already. I'm not sure whether I am to feel ashamed or proud. And tonight, I have found another song that beats all of them, A-Cha. Already downloaded. The thing about Super Junior is that the majority of them are hot, they are insanely good at dancing and the songs are completely catchy. They could be about the taste of miso soup for all I know but they're still epic songs. Another honourable K-Pop mention would be Girl Generation.

YES.

'Sorry Sorry' Dance

This obsession with K-Pop has culminated in a phenomenon known as the 'Sorry Sorry' dance. Due to prolonged exposure of the 'Sorry Sorry' video, I became automatically synchronised with the dance at the chorus. It came to a head during the gala where we performed the dance to any song that matched the beat. Good times.

So yeah, I think I have put forward a compelling (and long) argument towards becoming an accepted denizen of 'Asianhood'. Having been told by many of my friends that I am more Asian than them, I am extremely confident that my application will be accepted.

Long live Asia (and Super Junior).

I will leave with one of their videos so you can all fall in love with them, just like I have. Additionally, please be sure to look up 'Sorry Sorry' and 'Mr Simple'. And if you want more, check out 'Gee' by Girls Generation. I feel like a K-Pop master.

Internet Manners and Etiquette: The Social Schisms of Getting it Wrong...

Welcome to the Internet, prepare for excommunication!

I'm going to get straight to the point. The internet is a judgemental place. And the worst part is you don't even need to know the person to feel like the lowest of the low.

Of course, not everyone feels this way and that's a good thing. But there are people out there who overthink their activities on the internet. And ashamedly, I used to be one of them. I say 'used' loosely because I'm still confronted with these issues even now. I've just learned to get a grip and not take things so personally. But that can be hard.

It can be said that every comment you post, every status you like, every message you send can be over-analysed to the point of insanity. I know there are some people who genuinely don't care and I praise these people. However, in a world where we are constantly craving the acceptance of our peers whilst maintaining a sense of individuality, I know that people will confront these issues in this mind frame. And it's unhealthy. I was inspired to write this blog because I have been confronted with many of these issues before and one recently, really got me thinking.

A few days ago, a girl added me on Facebook. I did not know her personally and I have never spoken to her in my life but she is also on exchange in Montreal and because she comes from the British Isles, I decided to add her. I thought perhaps she maybe wanted to open a dialogue with me which I was happy to provide (I'm a nice person like that). Now, usually, I do not add or accept people who I do not know and because this girl did not contact me in anyway, I decided to delete her today. Yet, when I went to delete her, I found she had already deleted me. 

And yet, I'm the one who feels like an idiot. Am I oversensitive or over-thinking it? Perhaps. And I will gladly admit that I am a sensitive person and an over-thinker. But there are questions that have been raised. Why did she add me? Why did she delete me? Was she being nosey? Was she unimpressed just by looking at my profile? All these questions have been brought since this silly interaction and its genuinely ridiculous. However, the worst thing was feeling like an idiot and it actually made me feel slightly angry. Then I got over it and decided to channel it into a blog.

This made me think about other things that make people feel ostracised from the internet. Here are a few examples.

• Bad Grammar: I'm not massively critical of people who spell the occasional word wrong or get the occasional grammar rule mixed up. It happens to the best of us (like me). However, there are some people on the internet who go out of their way to persecute these people (The Dreaded Grammar Nazis). 
• Adding Friends: You know when Michael McIntyre talks about the handshake/hug thing? When one person is going to greet a person with a handshake and the other is going to greet them with a hug and they meet in the middle and its horrendous? Well, how do you know when you're ready to add someone as a friend on Facebook? And why is it so nerve-wracking waiting for the acceptance? AND WHY DO YOU BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF WHEN THEY ACCEPT?
• Friend Number: I know this affects a lot of people (and if it doesn't, I envy you). But then again, that's what it boils down to. Why do we measure the success of our peer's social lives on the number of Facebook Friends? Why are we so jealous if someone has more friends than us? Does it mean they have more friends than us? Are they better loved than us? Do they have better social lives than us?
• Birthdays on Facebook: When it's someone's birthday, if they didn't say 'Happy Birthday' to me, I don't say 'Happy Birthday' to them. How do I find this out? I look at our friendship page. I think this is a pretty common law in the world of Facebook.
• Instagram Hashtags: If you have twenty hashtags, you are seen as an attention-seeking weirdo. And you're automatically jealous of people who have sixty likes with one hashtag.
• Arguments: Expect to lose your argument if you spell something wrong. Even if your argument is invincible. Also, expect to lose your right to an opinion if it conflicts someone elses and a whole day lost to arguing.

There are loads more I could list. I mean, basically every action on the internet has a consequence. However, the point I'm trying to get at is that why are there are so many unspoken norms about internet etiquette? Why do we need to think about every action? 

Nowadays, I don't care. However, when I was younger, I did and I think it's horrible thing to feel ostracised at such a young age, especially from a place where everyone is supposed to be 'welcome'. The internet can be a cruel place and we need to stop the judgement and the measuring of our self worth by statistics.

Yeah, this blog was pretty pathetic, I know.

The Home Run

Right Now: 'The Vortex' - Hadouken!

"Day 83 in the big Montreal House". These very words terrify me. I can't even believe it's possible that those many days have gone by since I first set foot in Montreal. And it's been a period of time where there has been a lot of highs and of course, with any new experience, a few lows too.

I cannot lie, exchange life hasn't always a bed of roses. There were the infestations of mice and recently, ants that I've had to contend with, which doubled with my other flatmates 'rocky' relationship with our landlady (she loves me, she gave me a Chinese pear) has not helped. Then, there's of course the weather, which really is nothing short of abysmal, especially when about 12 inches of snow decides to dump all over Montreal at the end of March. It's rather unacceptable. And of course, the most obvious factor is the constant longing to see my best friends and family again. I think, you could travel the entire world, experience and see the most wonderful things the globe has to offer and yet, I don't think there is anywhere quite like home (even East Kilbride, even East Kilbride). It's a deep-rooted connection that can't be broken, you can hear it calling you back and there comes a time when you just can't fight it anymore.

However, and this is a big 'However'. I am now getting to the stage where I'm so settled into a routine here that it almost feels like home. I realised it today when I walked 'home' from university and I didn't have to think about which way to go or which path to take. I just did it automatically and when the experience has entered your sub conscience, it starts to hit you that this place maybe means slightly more to you than you first thought. I enjoy being able to wake up when I want to, choosing when to eat, what to eat, when to shop, where to go out for dinner... The freedom of choice is literally limitless and that for me, is something which is priceless. I have also had great opportunities to travel, the highlight being meeting my family in New York City. It was a dream to go there and usually, when you people say 'OhmyGosh, New York is the best place ever' you wonder, can it really be that good? Well, I can tell you honestly it is. Boston was also a very beautiful place and somewhere I really think I would enjoy living permanently. Finally and the most important thing is, I have met some truly lovely people here who I hope I can be friends with for life. At first, I found it difficult because I missed a lot of fresher's week due to illness and other factors. I admit, I felt out of the loop for a long time. But gradually, you build on it and you meet new people. I mean, if I had to put it in simple terms, sixteen people came out for my birthday and I've known them around two and a half months. Last year, about fourteen people came out for my birthday and I've known them for years. It's nice to know that wherever I go in Asia, I will always have a friend there and I hope these people they will always have a friend in Scotland too.

So, now it's the home run. I have 53 days left to make this exchange the best experience of my life so far. And with events such as Toronto and Niagara Falls and Spring coming, I don't think it will difficult! 

NB: As some of you may have seen, I recently became a blogger for Fireball Liqueur Official UK. My  first blog hasn't been published yet but I'm really excited! I'm not sure how this is going to affect the frequency of this blog (which you know, is pretty much non-existant anyway) but I really want to try keeping them both going. So, I would really appreciate it if I could see the same level of support for my Fireball blog as I do for this one (plus you might actually win goodies and you'll be getting a guaranteed blog from me twice a month).

Thanks dear readers!

Au Revoir Ecosse...

Well now, it's currently 01.06 on the morning of the 28th December and I'm about to begin my biggest adventure yet. And I'm terrified. And excited. But mostly terrified...

So, in the true spirit of goodbyes, I sort of want to blog a farewell to all my family and friends that I am having to sadly leave behind in Scotland. It's going to sound slightly like an Oscar Acceptance Speech so I would get comfortable.

I hate leaving all my family and friends behind, adventures are all well and good but it's nicer to share them with someone. If I could take all of you with me to Canada, I would in a heartbeat but unfortunately TARDIS Suitcases have yet to be invented (definitely a potential niche to invest into though).

Firstly, to my Sainsbury's buddies, who have been the best work colleagues I've ever had the pleasure to work with, it's been fun moaning about customers and joking around and I have loved working with all of you. However, I can't deny that the thrill of never having to be on Self Scans again is utterly fantastic and I have to be honest and say I will not miss that part of it.

To Facebook friends who've had to put up with constantly moaning about the snow or posting something Montreal - related. I'm just going to apologise now. Sadly, I'm a drama Queen by nature so I can't promise I'll ever stop complaining but I will be sure to reduce the frequency of my posts in the future to give your eyes a rest.

To Fraser Shaw, who deserves a massive chocolate medal for putting up with my inane and constant questioning about Montreal. You Sir, are a trooper and a fabulous friend.

To everyone who has bought me a card or a gift for leaving, you're all far too generous and kind, so thank you! I'm very blessed to have such lovely, caring friends and family.

To my best friends, you know who you are. Thanks for spending the day with me today, you have no idea how much it meant and the fact I won't see you all for five whole months is a wee bit heartbreaking. I love you guys so much.

And finally, to my wonderful family, who I'm going to miss the most. Twenty years is a long time to live with the same person and the fact that I've only ever spent two weeks away from you makes it even more harder. You're the best family a girl could ask for and I love you all so very much. The airport tomorrow is going to have puddles everywhere, just saying.