However, you needn't have worried about my 'ahem' interests as it simply means 'a passionate interest for cinema, film theory and film criticism'. You could say that the last part attracts me the most because there is nothing I enjoy more in this world than a complaint or a moan (according to my mother that is, who probably would even go as far to point out that I am the Queen of Melodrama, complete with a glittering crown). I won't lie, I didn't pick up a dictionary and learn this term. Rather the education came from a more unlikely source, namely 'The Lonely Island', spoof and comedic trio extraordinaires, so I guess behind their love of jizzing at the thought of grapes or Andy Samberg announcing he fucked the brains out of a giant fish, they can be pretty educational...
I set myself a challenge this summer, a mean, lean machine of a challenge. Last summer I slept, watched television and lazed about. Personally, I was of the opinion that it was a great summer, time very well spent but my parentals, unfortunately but not surprisingly, felt very much the opposite. Therefore, I decided that this summer I was going to become a 'more cultured' being and a part of this was to become a Cinephile (although I do not think 'Cinephile' is a term I'll use in general, passing conversation for fear of being caught up in a high-speed police chase through the mean streets of Glasgow. It still sounds incredibly dodgy...).
So do I consider myself to have surpassed all expectations and be a Cinephile like Michael Bolton? Alas, no. However, to attain such a position would be quite something, even though I feel that there is a certain criteria I must meet before I can use this term (or point out as a posh way of 'I like going to the cinema' on my CV). Before you ask, No, this criteria does not involve any dressing up as Jack Sparrow, Forrest Gump, Erin Brockovich or Scarface whatsoever but instead, I believe to become a Cinephile, you must have seen AFI's Top Ten films of all time.
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Currently, as of 2012, the rankings stand at:
1. Citizen Kane
2. The Godfather
3. Casablanca
4. Raging Bull
5. Singin' In The Rain
6. Gone With The Wind
7. Lawrence of Arabia
8. Schindler's List
9. Vertigo
10. Wizard of Oz
Out of that ten, I have seen seven of them, five of them I have seen recently on the road to cinephillia. Whilst I appreciate all of them as cinematic innovation and prestige, I can also state that some of them were absolute, convoluted crap. Absolute nonsense. If I have to see Lawrence of Arabia again in this life, it will have been too soon. Honestly, give me Family Guy: Blue Harvest any day over that film. (The worst part was the day after I saw it, I went to see Prometheus, which had a gazillion references to the wretched movie. In fact, that was probably the most horrific part of the movie for me).
However, it is not just the top ten I am concerning myself with. There's so many more films out there that have to be seen. The good and the bad. I have recently been acquainted with a film called 'The Room' which looks so gloriously bad, it must be watched. New mission for the summer to find and watch that movie? Yes, yes I think so.
| Sherif Ali: 'You intend to put future viewers through hell watching this movie by fooling critics that it is the best film of all time?' Lawrence: 'Yes, yes I do...' |
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